Sometimes God asks us to surrender something or someone that means the world to us. Sometimes He challenges the idols of our hearts. The counterfeit Gods. Those things in our lives that keep us furthest from Him instead of drawing us closer to Him. Sometimes they are not bad things in and of themselves. Sometimes they are in fact good things. But the very fact that they have taken the place of God in our lives makes them bad for us in that time. Sometimes it’s not easy to respond in trust. To truly listen to what we know God is speaking to us because the solidarity of that person or thing in that moment gives us a sense of security…or safety…. Or perhaps because that person or thing is incredibly valuable to us. We love it/him/her. We can’t imagine our life any other way. And so we keep holding tight. We ask ourselves, “If I give it up…what will happen?” “If I walk away there are too many unknowns.” We wonder why God would ask us to surrender when it doesn’t fully make sense in the moment. Yet, His only answer is, “Trust me”.
And finally that moment comes. That moment when we realize we’ve waited too long. We’ve held on too tightly. We’ve not trusted God with the outcome. That moment when we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that today is the day that God is calling us to not put it off any longer, to loosen our grip, to trust Him. And through it, through the process of surrender…and trust…and ultimate love for our Savior we find more freedom than we’ve ever known. Instead of finding fear, loneliness and pain, we find joy, love and ultimate freedom. And we realize that God was right all along. That His plan is beautiful. And that though the walk of trust is never easy, it is worth it.
My prayer for anyone reading this who is struggling with a big decision in front of them or who simply struggles with trust in God is that you would respond in faith. Not the christianize type of faith that has just been a mere good sounding word your whole life. But the real, life altering, hard, gut-wrenching faith that God calls us to live by. Sometimes it’s only through trust and faith that we are able to make the biggest decisions of our lives. John 10:27 says, “My sheep hear my voice, I know them, and they follow me.” If you are a child of God, He speaks to you. Fact. Even when you doubt. I’m one of the biggest doubters of them all. But through my process in this season of stepping out and trusting what I felt God had spoken to me I’ve found more joy, peace and freedom than I’ve ever known. And I want that for everyone reading this. Sometimes He doesn’t speak in the most obvious way, but it is always the best way. Follow Him.
“The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future. The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment. The reality of naked trust is the life of the pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise.” – Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust: The Ragamuffins Path to God